Oh sod it. I give up. Today is the day I finally recognised what I’ve tried to put off for much, much too long. I am a procrastinator. Give me a task to do and I will happily put it off. Show me something fun to do and I will find reasons why I can’t. No more. I refuse to procrastinate on this issue.
And this is me, refusing. Instead I am grabbing the bull by the horns. I am creating ideas. I am writing this. Not for you (sorry) but for me. This will be a reminder of the day when I turned round and said: ENOUGH. Enough putting it off, enough researching, enough of spending time my closest friend analysis paralysis (I love that phrase) and enough talking myself out of every idea I’ve ever managed to have.
I refuse to be put back in my box.
I will take action. I will move forward. I will change. I will set myself free. I will live.
Today I noticed my first daisy and my first grape hyacinth of the year. Why is this significant? It proves to me that, despite the insanely cold weather and the heavy snowfall we had only last week (in Southern England, in March, I know), spring has finally arrived. Oh yes, winter is officially over.
The perfect follow-up to this report would be a pleasant increase in temperatures and the absence of snow, wind and rain, even if only for a few days. It might happen, it might not. Either way I’m grateful for the opportunity to see spring happily bursting forth again today.
Happy spring 2013!
We all know I am not an artist. I cannot draw. I do not count the ability to form stick men or coloured shapes as an ability to draw. End of. You may remember that I do like splodging great dollops of paint onto paper. Creating color and vibrancy from nothing warms the cockles of my heart and sparks off inspiration and happiness like very little else.
To this end I asked for some canvasses for Christmas. Duly received I quickly realised I had forgotten to ask for paints so out I headed to a craft shop to obtain some. I returned home a few pounds lighter armed with acrylic paints, brushes, scrapers, a practice pad and a painting by numbers picture of hot air balloons.
Hot air is about all I usually end up with. With past craft projects I have been known to rush out to buy “the stuff”, get really into it for about five days and then never look at it again. My half-forgotten attempts at sewing pretty hearts and making up a scrapbook are included. The lucky thing is that I still rebound to them from time to time so the money and effort are not wasted. However, in 2013 I am not letting my limiting thoughts do their worst. I will play with these painting goodies from time to time fully anticipating that I will not create beautiful landscapes but I will have fun with colour and create something vibrant, beautiful and mine. I have no pretensions of grandeur – I just want to have fun. To play. And so I shall.
Finding your song is not about finding a cheesy romantic song about how you and your partner met, or about finding a song that reflects something about you or about your mood, although that is always fantastic to do. Finding your song is about discovering who you are and then living your own life as that person. Yes, living as the real you with all your hopes, fears, dreams and anxieties. Scary, isn’t it? But, what amazing fun it is to live as you. No-one else can.
“Find your own song
Write your own lyrics.
Find your own melody.
Create your own soundtrack.
Make your own movie.
Live your own life.”
- Patrick Lindsay, taken from “Now Is The Time”