Inspiration Monday – Come with us if you want to live

I like days like today when you sit down to write and immediately know what you are going to say.  I hope it worked the way I wanted it to.  I guess I will find out when you lovely people post your comments.

Come with us if you want to live

She sat heavily.  Her mind churned.  All this time she had hoped it might not be true but the man made it quite clear.  Her options were limited.  She had a choice to make and she was running out of time.

“When?”

“We can’t be certain.  It could be weeks or it could be days.”

Days?  The thought had never really occurred to her.  She’d thought it would take weeks, perhaps months.  Modern technology and all that.  How would she ever have time now to say goodbye?  Would she even want to?  That terrified her even more.  Was there anyone she wanted to see that much?  Anyone that would notice when she was gone?  No, she decided, frightened by her own conviction, there wasn’t.  She wasn’t prepared to explain all the gory details to anyone on the fringes anyway.  She had to go on and do this alone.  That’s the way her mother would have wanted it.  Deal with it yourself.  Pass on without fuss.  Leave without a trail of grief in her wake.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t want to push you but we really need to know your answer.  If you want to go ahead we need to get things moving.  Arrangements need to be made.  I know it’s a shock but you don’t have much time.”

“Would you like a cup of tea?”  Her automatic responses were kicking in.

“No, thank you.  I’m sorry, I just need you to sign the form.  Here by the ‘x’, if you want to go ahead, and here, by the ‘y’, if you don’t.”

“Will it be easy?”

He didn’t answer.  She didn’t want to know anyway.  It wouldn’t make any difference.  She knew what she had to do.  She picked up the pen and signed by the ‘x’.  Goodbye to one life, hello to the new.

Inspiration from: http://bekindrewrite.net/2012/01/23/inspiration-monday-travelling-by-balloon/

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12 Responses to Inspiration Monday – Come with us if you want to live

  1. You had me gripped right through, so it worked! Is there more? I would like to read it if there is.

    • loustar02 says:

      Excellent, thanks. There isn’t at the moment but it is one of a very few of my flash fiction attempts that I was tempted to continue.

  2. Kay Camden says:

    Oh, you’re not going to tell us?! At first I was thinking terminal illness, but now I’m thinking it’s a red pill/blue pill thing like the Matrix (which has me quite interested).

    • loustar02 says:

      Isn’t it more fun to decide for yourself? I actually wrote it deliberately so it could be taken one way or another. I’m pleased you picked up on the terminal illness as that was one of them!

  3. This piece is both deeply sad and deeply intriguing. It was like The Fault in Our Stars + Joe vs. the Volcano + The Matrix (as Kay pointed out above). I really want to know more.

    • loustar02 says:

      Thanks – maybe I will carry it on and see where it leads her. Making it open to interpretation was a deliberate ploy. I get the impression that I’m going to be forced into explanation but might wait until I get a few more requests! Thanks for reviewing and commenting.

  4. 1smiles says:

    TImely post. I have people in my life making these decisions just now.

  5. Pingback: Inspiration Monday: the noise of ideas « BeKindRewrite

  6. In my opinion always leave things open to interpretation. That way at least people keep thinking about your story after they finished reading it. That being said, I might guess it’s some kind of secret mission.

    Something about that first sentence makes me itch though – maybe it’s the adverb or that we don’t know what she is sitting on? Falling down to the floor would have more impact (ha!) than to a chair.

    And I might have liked more description of the woman and man, as long as it didn’t remove all the mystery.

    Ok, too much critique? let me know – I’ll tone it down next time 😛

    • loustar02 says:

      I think you proved your point – there seem to be a whole manner of interpretations and I’d only been thinking of two specific ones. I love stories that help you use your own imagination too. Hopefully that came across.

      No, not too much critique at all. It is always helpful to have other opinions. How can we learn if we are not open to comments of others? Besides it is easy to get too close to your own work to see the wood for the trees.

      I’ll try a little more description in a future post. I’ve actually been cutting out a lot of it from my more recent writing (lack of time, I suspect) so will think on this.

      Thanks for the comments – much appreciated 🙂

  7. KP says:

    Modern technology … cryogenics … space travel … time travel so many choices!

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